Monday’s entry posted early:
Answer any number of the following 4 – Any number of the 4 you feel comfortable with or even feel free to comment based on what another commenter posts.
Being positively unreasonable with yourself
Note I am not talking about breaking laws or harming others in this definition.
1- How do you feel about the concept of being “positively unreasonable with yourself” as a way of giving back to the world?
2- Do you feel that to achieve the highest levels of success in anything it takes a certain level of “unreasonableness”?
3- Do you feel that people “make others wrong” through criticisms, teasing, ridicule or even being critical for just not living the way the critic thinks the other person “should be” living as they act “positively unreasonable”?
4- Please feel free to share any ideas you have in this area of unreasonableness.
Optional reading bellow:
I promise within the next 60 days to make a new blog that highlights the charities mentioned in the last post. Thank you for sharing
I am grateful to those who take time out of their day to comment here even when life is happening. Thank you for that. The comments here are amazing!
(Next post coming BEFORE 10-30-09 Monday)
Digital civil society and digital governance
3 weeks ago
in the context which you mean here, i don't think unreasonableness exists. unreasonable may be someone else's opionion of what you are doing, but if you are convinced of the reasons that you are doing it for, it cannot possibly be unreasonable. that unreasonableness would purely be bowing down to the norms and expectations of society, of not wanting to make waves, of conforming rather than having convition in one's own ideaologies...
ReplyDeleteI hadn't really thought of it this way before but I think you're on to something. I think what little success I've had has come from being unreasonable with myself, and maybe with the world. I think such a stance is actually very important in a lot of different endevours.
ReplyDeleteA large part of success is being unreasonable at times. The thing is, after you introduce unreasonable (let's think the Wright Brothers) and make it work, then it's really quite reasonable.
ReplyDeleteI know I have to be unreasonable in business to think up new ideas. Some of them flop horribly. Others work ... and stick.
I suppose the way I define positively unreasonable is: to be positive (think positively) even in the face of tragedy or in less than desirable circumstances. Some people might think it unreasonable to maintain that nice attitude- I think it's just smart and gives back to the world!
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I don't think you can really make another person "wrong" through criticisms. In the end you are really responsible for yourself and your feelings.
ReplyDeleteI think criticizing others may make life more difficult for that person. But it's a dangerous path to go down, blaming all your shortcomings on people who doubt you or criticize you. If we keep passing the blame around, we'll feel sorry for ourselves all the time and never get anything done.
I can see how I make others wrong by criticizing what they do. I see other people doing what I think is stupid all of the time. I see people doing all manner of short-sighted things, to their children, to their pets, to their spouses, to their planet, etc.
ReplyDeleteI spend alot of time alone in my line of work and I wonder about things. I wonder about this sort of stuff alot. For me it boils down to this: What the hell is really going on?
I mean What is reality? Does any of this stuff even matter? I have almost gathered enough evidence to conclude that I have no idea what is going on, and what is even cooler, that no one else does either. In fact, I have a rudimentary way to measure the level of doubt that people have in what they believe. The faster someone gets angry with me for not thinking their way, the more full of crap they are. And when someone is ready to kill, then they can't really believe what they say at all.
In fact, I am beginning to wonder that if everybody is where they are supposed to be and everybody is doing what they are supposed to be doing and nobody is a victim and we all create our own reality, and so on, that helping somebody is just messing with their free will. Especially, when the help I want to give is what I think they need, not even what they think they need.
I do not feel sorry for a newly found lost tribe because they don't have 187 different styles of nail polish or 48 different shades of yellow paint for their house. I feel sorry for them because they weren't better hiders.
Sometimes it is necessary to go beyond reason to reach genius but it can be dangerous and painful.
ReplyDeleteFlash 55 - Favors
Greatness comes from the desire to approach a subject in an unreasonable but postive manner. To always continue on a reasonable path only results in mundane activity.
ReplyDeleteCheers!
Julie
Julie Magers Soulen Photography
Blog of Note
Great post and topic. My mother thought I was unreasonable because she wanted me to work in an office, (she was an accountant), and a math wizard. I, on the other hand, am not drawn to numbers in that way and could not picture myself sitting in a cubicle day in and day out. I went ahead and took all the business courses that she made me take, (I figured typing was something a writer ought to be proficient at in any case) and those business courses served me well in life even though I went down a completely different path than she did. Later in life she became a painter and sold her paintings in art fairs. Unreasonable worked for me!
ReplyDeleteTom, on point no. 3 I don't think it is ever okay to be like that to people. That is just not okay.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I laughed at your comment about being in a swamp. You're funny.
Love Renee xoxo
thanks tom for visiting me and for your kind words. i am liking your writing here and will be back for more :)
ReplyDeleteI think many of us walk a very difficult line in balance unreasonableness with a drive for success. It's like trying to juggle, in many cases like trying to juggle with people you don't trust and/or agree with on general principle. If you try to do the best you can in spite of the incompetence of others, you are an upstart. If you try to bring out the best in others (particularly trying to lead by example) ... well, duck, that's all I can say.
ReplyDeletethanks so much for stopping by my bloggy spot. Come and dance with me anytime.
ReplyDeleteInteresting, Tom.
ReplyDeleteAloha, Friend!
Comfort Spiral
Wow. Deep stuff here.
ReplyDeleteI think no one can make you feel unreasonable, unless you want to feel that way. What other people say or do can dictate how you feel, but you have to let them first.
Have a great weekend :o)
I think everyone's hit on a main point about defining "unreasonable" and who is in a position to then point it out, in themselves and in others. And what can be seen as positive unreasonableness because it produces intended results can be viewed as a negative if there are casualties of that result. For example, a father of young children decides to train for an Ironman triathlon. This requires an unreasonable amount of training time each week in light of his other responsibilities, particularly to his family. But he stays positive and finishes the race but is viewed by others as selfish and vain for not spending enough time at home in pursuit of that goal.
ReplyDeleteI recently watched a documentary on DVD called "Trouble the Water" that focused on Hurricane Katrina victims. You can read about it at http://www.troublethewaterfilm.com/. What struck me is how positive people remained in the face of such hardship and heartache, and how people treated others, often unreasonably in my opinion. I highly recommend this film.
I think people become 'stronger' because of criticism / teasing / ridicule from others! I like to call the teasing/ridicule by its proper name of 'Bashing' which has happened to me! For 4 years I had been bashed/stalked in an AOL Pennsylvania chatroom just for the way I typed & phrased comments! I took many a chatroom vacation the most being 4 months at which time I was very depressed - how could people whom have never met me, bash me! I finally realized they were just too insecure & thus when & if anyone attempts it now, I give it right back!
ReplyDeleteAn interesting blog you have!
By expecting too much from yourself *a.k.a being unreasonsble* you often achieve better results.Interesting and complicated subject :)
ReplyDeleteIf being positively unreasonable means, acting on faith and believing in the unseen, despite what is seen may be opposite, then absolutely, YES! I am often positively unreasonable with myself. However, I don't view it as being unreasonable. Usually, that's what others say. To me, acting on faith and inner guidance/intuition is the only reasonable thing to do.
ReplyDeleteAs for other people, most of the time, I see their wounds and feel compassion. The insane desire to point out their flaws is quite diminished. The idea of trying to make another wrong just to feed my ego, isn't something I buy into. Granted, I am still human. There are times when I do this. I get disgusted with myself. I'm by no means perfect at seeing people as the wonders they are, all the time, every time. However, I remind myself often to see people as my mirrors. I put it into practice...even if it is after I've already delved into making them wrong in my own mind.
2 - yes! Although some people (economists) would have us believe that we're being reasonbale even when we're being unreasonable. ;o)
ReplyDeleteThank you for stopping by my virtual home!
Thank you dear Tom.
ReplyDeleteRenee xoxo
Thank you for visiting my blog. I really like yours. Rather than answer here in comments,though, I believe I will take some of your questions and use them as fodder for my blog!
ReplyDeleteAs always you pose some interesting questions.
ReplyDeleteI found an interesting site through your previous post and comments!
I pick #2. Short answer is yes. Long answer...well, it's slightly unreasonable but here's the gist: Free-word association, randomness, crazy, improvisation, innovation, problem solved, and then, success.
ReplyDeleteIt's all about your individual view. Can you make people wrong by being critical, not really because that is just an opinion. The problem comes when hundreds of people are thinking along the same lines but does that make them right and the other unreasonable. I don't think so. some of the most amazing things come from being unreasonable.
ReplyDeleteTom, your posts really make one think. :) I didn't go through all the comments, but the first commenter Shadow pretty much said what I think. It might sound egoistic but I don't really think I'm unreasonable or that I act that way. Maybe from someone else's perspective but since we are all different, I don't count that. I mean, other people seem unreasonable to me most of the time. Especially when it is obvious their behaviour is making them unhappy (that is for me the most obvious sign someone is doing sth wrong with thier life). In case that happens to be someone from my close circle (which happens unbelievably often), I finally learned that there isn't much I can do about it and I try not to let it affect me too much. You can't force other people to be happy, they have to learn to do it themselves. Being unhappy is what I find completely unreasonable.
ReplyDeleteI think I veered off the topic here. :)
A very, very evocative post, Tom! I am often unreasonably positive with myself. I find I generally move forward far more quickly.
ReplyDeletePeople are all different, and it is not up to me to judge or criticize other's behaviour. I've got my path; they've got theirs, unreasonable or not. I guess I've got to walk a mile in their shoes, before I criticize!
Thank you for your comment on my blog, I'm glad you did and I'm glad I found your incredible blog!
I'd like to make my own definition of unreasonableness. Only my definition/opinion. It would equal going outside the box. Outside of most individuals "ordinary reasoning." I totally believe in unreasonableness in that context. It's the only way we grow and improve, and learn, unearth new territory to explore. There are always parameters between healthy and unhealthy, sane and insane, but I think most half way intelligent people recognize where those parameters are. That was a very good question. Made me go outside the box to think about it.
ReplyDeleteI just found your blog via QueenBeeSwain's blog and I am loving what I am reading. You have a great message! I am now a follower.
ReplyDeleteI think a lot of us need people like that-people who will remain our positive guide and show us optimism when we need it the most. I'm not sure if I could be one of those people, especially during a tragedy. But I like to know that they are around, making the world a better place. :)
ReplyDeleteI love this topic Tom this is exactly what i'm asking people of our community to do.Become unreasonably involving in making a difference in the lives of our children.We have to throw out the old misconceptions that some are just too far gone.When i think of our kids i like to make the comparison of kids and diamonds.If one takes time out to learn the history of this gem now captivates the world.you find that in the beginning the diamond was not at the forefront of the gem world,but through due diligence,cultivation,nourishment,and hard work it has been catapulted to the undisputed champion of the gem world.I ask why can't we apply this same concept to our kids and get the same results.
ReplyDeleteIn what context is "unreasonable" used here? I think that "reasonable" is individual specific. Each person creates the reality in which they exist according to their experiences with the world; therefore their reasoning is only measurable by them. (This is just my opinion on how the language is used/perceived by each person.) Thank you for your interest in my blog and for your comment...much appreciated.
ReplyDeleteTom - Thank you for visiting the Left Coast Rebel. You have an fine and thought provoking blog here. I hope to hear from you again!
ReplyDeleteLCR
Feeling positive is a state of mind, and can result in many wonderful things. Please try being in a positive frame of mind for youe next blog, as this was quite frankly bollocks.
ReplyDeleteWhat was the question again?
ReplyDeleteJust kidding.
Without scrolling *all the way back up* past all these loverly comments, I'll try and remember:
I have a serious issue with people who have knee-jerk reactions or critisisms of others...where they've already decided on a stereotype for that person. It's unfair and usually incorrect. I think it's horribly unfair to judge...you haven't lived their life! I usually secretly hope karma catches up with that person and gives 'em hell.
Healthy discussion with so many good options.
ReplyDelete1- How do you feel about the concept of being “positively unreasonable with yourself”
ReplyDeleteas a way of giving back to the world?
I look at it from the opposite perspective. i don't see it as being unreasonable. To me it is more of realizing my skills and abbilities and expecting more of myself - forcing myself to step yup to the levels I know I can achieve.
2- Do you feel that to achieve the highest levels of success in anything it takes a certain level of “unreasonableness”?
I think it requires challenging yourself. It's very easy to become content and stick to areas and skills we feel safe with. To push yourself and force yourself to work harder and expand your areas of skills are when you really have the opportunity to do great things. Even failure is a good thing...beacuse you tried.
3- Do you feel that people “make others wrong” through criticisms, teasing, ridicule or even being critical for just not living the way the critic thinks the other person “should be” living as they act “positively unreasonable”?
I think we spend far too much time worrying about what other people think of us and what other people are doing. If they are not harming themselves or others, I think they should be given the freedom to try new things. I think we do ourselves and others a great injustice by restricting what we think can be done. There are so many things yet to be done...
4- Please feel free to share any ideas you have in this area of unreasonableness.
Like I said - I think if people didn't push themselves, there would be far less creativity and revelation in the world. We need to step back from what we feel we should be doing and try new thigns. We need to puch ourselves to achieve. It's OK to fail...because we might succeed. And that is fantistic!
Lots of typos...sorry!
ReplyDeleteYeah, they are definitely one of those bands that don't let age affect them. Paul Stanley still jumps around like he's 20, it's amazing. Thanks for the comment :)
ReplyDeleteFor me, positively unreasonable is thinking outside the box for solutions to help others, improve our world, etc. I think it's a good thing since there are certainly many problems that need solving that no one has managed to fix yet. I don't think criticism makes others 'wrong', unless it is petty. Unreasonable can be good, criticism could help point out any weaknesses in an idea and help focus someone who is thinking outside the box on what needs to be done to get an idea to work.
ReplyDelete2- Do you feel that to achieve the highest levels of success in anything it takes a certain level of “unreasonableness”?
ReplyDeleteYes I do, but I have the support of my wife to b unreasonable, at least on a prt-time basis, as I write my books. Good (ahem) reasonable question.
Stephen Tremp
“positively unreasonable with myself” the things I do to myself I would never do to another living thing but it's how I achieve my success. Lack of sleep, never giving myself a break always pushing myself and keeping my mother in my head. It's unhealthy, I know and if anyone else was doing it I would talk them out of it.
ReplyDeleteThis was a brilliant Exercise very cathartic.
Thanks for sharing.
Hello, Thankyou so much for your kind comment about my blog. Your post is very thought provoking. I enjoyed reading others thoughts who commented here, as you say you certainly get some great comments X
ReplyDeleteI think in order to achieve success it is important to go above and beyond so that is not really unreasonable, unless laws are broken or health is harmed. I believe every one needs to be responsible to his or her own life so although sometimes it can be hard to watch. i think friends and family will comments not to be mean but out of desire to help so i don't think that is unreasonable but at some point too much interfering, for whatever reason, becomes unreasonable.
ReplyDeleteWell, you know, I honestly can;t think of how to answer these questions. Are they so unreasonably unusual that my mind just can't kick into gear? So, how goes it? Hope that new blog is working out and ready to post soon!
ReplyDeleteVery thought provoking post!
ReplyDelete